


Helix

by lovelynemesis



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Bucky Barnes Feels, Drama & Romance, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-10-29 06:15:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17802590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelynemesis/pseuds/lovelynemesis
Summary: She was his only failed mission. He was a distraction she couldn’t afford. Years apart still hadn’t healed old wounds. But they were pawns in a much bigger game than love.





	1. One

 

“We have a new member joining the team.”

 

The conference table fell silent as Tony walked in and plopped a manilla folder on the table. He loosened his tie before taking off his suit jacket and hanging it on the back of the chair. “She will be a formidable asset to the team.” His eyes touched briefly on Wanda, “Maximoff knew of her when her and Pietro volunteered for the Hydra experiments. She had escaped and was never heard from again.” 

 

Wanda reached forward and grabbed the folder, “She was a part of the Helix program.” Opening it, she took out a picture, “She is enhanced, super silent, super fast and smart. They weren’t trained for combat. They were trained for intelligence intel. From what I understand, it wasn’t very pleasant. She is the only one who survived.”

 

Bucky shifted in his seat, increasingly uncomfortable with where this was going. When the picture was passed to him, he felt sick to his stomach. He looked over when he felt movement beside him. Steve nodded once and waited for Bucky to nod in return. 

 

“She has been hiding for almost four years,” Tony continued. “Recently found right here in New York.” Tony placed his hands on the high back of the padded leather seat with a sigh, “Pierce wants her, we have her.” 

 

“And you think that is a good idea?” Nat spoke up. She shook her head, “I have heard of the Helix program. It’s intense.” 

 

Tony looked pointeedly at Bucky, “She is tired of hiding.” He pulled up the sleeve of his shirt to look at his watch, “She should be arriving with Hill and Fury soon.” 

 

“I imagine she has some major PTSD,” Sam said dryly.

 

Nat laughed, “Don’t we all?”

 

“What happened to her?” Steve asked.

 

“We don’t know much about her before her life at Helix,” Tony motioned to the folder that Wanda was still looking through, “She was a full time student at NYU and worked part time at a local party planning service. No living family, thrown around foster homes until aging out at eighteen. An academic scholarship was awarded to her for a full ride.” 

 

“It says here that she was last seen at a lavish party that was being hosted for the senator,” Wanda said. “So she was abducted and never seen again until just a few days ago.”

 

“If she is as smart as that folder says she is, then how was she found?” Bucky said, swallowing the bile that seemed to be stuck in his throat.  

 

“She contacted Fury,” Tony answered. “She told him that she is certain that Helix is staging an attack, and it was going to happen soon.” 

 

“How does she know that?” Steve asked, skeptical.

 

Tony’s expression turned grim, “Because she is the one who was supposed to orchestrate it.”

 

Everyone jumped when Bucky suddenly stood up, sending his chair skidding back across the floor before it hit the wall with a crash. Without a word, he walked around the table and was out the door. 

 

Steve looked at Tony before he too got up and followed him. 

 

“Buck, wait up,” Steve called as he watched Bucky hurry down the long corridor. Steve sighed when Bucky just kept going. 

 

Bucky was about to hit the long bar on the emergency exit door, “Bucky, is it her?” Steve watched his shoulders tense and his body pivot to face Steve. Struck a nerve.

 

His face was white as a ghost and sweat was dripping from his hairline. Steve could see the turmoil on his friends face. It could be read like a book. 

 

Steve heard someone clear their throat from behind him. A quick glance showed that everyone had stepped out of the conference room and were now standing in the hallway. 

 

He ignored them, stepping closer to Bucky. Steve didn’t say anything in fear of spooking Bucky more. He just waited until Bucky got his breathing under control and didn’t look as nauseous.

 

“Why don’t you come back and let’s talk this through with everyone,” Steve suggested softly. “It would help to know what we are up against.” 

 

Bucky exhaled long and slow. Then he looked at Steve and nodded. 

 

Once resettled in the conference room, Bucky couldn’t help but notice that the air crackled with suspense. Picking up her picture from where it had landed on the table, Bucky stared at it for a moment. He was assaulted with memories. Some of which he thought he had buried deep. 

 

“She was my only failed mission,” Bucky croaked. He cleared his throat and swallowed hard, “Hydra sent me to kill her. Even they were scared of what she is capable of.”

 

* * *

 

_ “I have to go Bucky.” _

 

_ Bucky sat up in the rumpled bed sheets and followed the sound of your voice in the dark. You were standing near the window, your silhouette shining in the moonlight. You only had on Bucky’s discarded t-shirt, leaving your legs gloriously bare.  _

 

_ You were beautiful to him. _

 

_ That is why he couldn’t believe what you had just said.  _

 

_ “I thought we talked about this?” he asked, wrapping a sheet around his waist and moving to stand next to you. “We can hide together. Helix will never find you.”  _

 

_ You smiled ruefully, “Bold of you to assume that Helix doesn’t have eyes everywhere.” _

 

_ The backs of his fingers swiped lovingly across your cheek. You let yourself revel in his touch for a moment before leaning your head away.  _

 

_ Bucky got his second surprise of the evening when you suddenly raised your arm and aimed a pistol at him. Incredulous, Bucky stood stock still.  _

 

_ Tears shone in your eyes as you shook your head, “I’m sorry Bucky, but this is bigger than you and me.” _

 

_ The sound of the gun going off registered first, then the searing pain in his shoulder next. _

 

* * *

 

 

Bucky rubbed the spot on his shoulder as he finished his story to the quiet table. You could hear a pin drop in the room.

 

Sam was the first to break the silent tension, “So, you fell in love with your mark?” He then broke out into a wide grin, “And then she shot you? Ha, oh man, she played you hard.” 

 

Bucky shot daggers at him with a scornful look, “Shut the fuck up, bird boy.”

 

Tony raised his hand to silence them before rubbing his eyes, digging his thumbs harshly into the sockets, “Well, you better prepare yourself Barnes.” Tony looked down at his watch, he read the text that Fury had sent him, “Because she’s here.”

 

* * *

 

 

Your eyes darted left and right as you were led out of the elevator. It took you no time to memorize the placement of the cameras and memorize where the furniture sat. Useful information to have to make a quick getaway if necessary.

 

When Maria Hill stepped up in front you, you couldn’t help but smile a little as she palmed the pistol that was harnessed on her side. They were prepared for you to run… and were ready to take you out. Smart.

 

Hill pressed a series of numbers on the pad that appeared out of the wall. The doors unlocked with an audible click. Fury and Hill preceded you into the room. Every pair of eyes landed on you when they stepped aside. 

 

There was one set of eyes you were not prepared to see. You sucked in a quick breath as your heart rate rose. You felt a little lightheaded as you stared back at Bucky. “I… I um… Th-thought you were in Wakanda?” You shook your head, attempting to clear it, “That is what I read at least.”

 

Bucky’s hard stare didn’t waver, “Things change, sugar.”

 

He used the pet name to disarm you. You knew that, but it still caused the same tingle to shoot through your body as it did the first time he ever used it. 

 

Composing yourself, you just nodded and looked at Tony. You stuck your hand out as he stood. “Mr. Stark, it is a pleasure to meet you. I know so much about you, I feel like you are an old friend.” 

 

He looked mildly surprised, but quickly recovered, “I wish I could say I knew more about you, but you are a bit of an enigma.”

 

Your smile didn’t quite reach your eyes, “That is what I was trained for.” 

 

Stepping back, you looked around the room, carefully avoiding Bucky. Without anymore hesitation, you pulled your backpack off your shoulders and laid it on the table. Unzipping it, you upended the bag and dumped the contents onto the center of the table. Notebooks, folders, loose papers and post-its littered the table. You picked up the the clear cylinder vial that clattered down the pile of your many notes.

 

Holding it up, you addressed the shocked expressions, “Shall we get started?”

 

* * *

 

 

“Sooo, that is what you have been doing for the past couple of years?”

 

You looked up from where you sat at the kitchen table. Bucky was standing near the refrigerator, leaning against the island counter. Even in the dark you could tell he was tense. 

 

Calmly, you set your gun back on the table next to your cereal bowl. 

 

You didn’t bother with an answer. 

 

You tracked him in the dark as he grabbed something out of a nearby cabinet and came to sit at the other end of the table. When the silence became too much, you sighed heavily, “I did what I had to do.”

 

“Leaving me in that motel room to die was what you had to do?” he laughed sarcastically. 

 

You took another bite of cereal, chewing quickly. “I didn’t leave you there to die.” Dropping your spoon in your bowl you looked across the table at him, “I was the anonymous call Steve Rogers received that tipped him off to your location.” 

 

More silence.

 

You listened to him fiddle with a wrapper of some sort before he took a bite out of whatever he unwrapped. 

 

“You don’t need that here,” Bucky said around a mouthful of food.

 

You didn’t know what he was talking about at first, but then realized he meant the pistol that was within reach. 

 

“Tony brought you here because he needs you, not because he wants to kill you,” Bucky explained. 

 

“Habit,” you whispered. 

 

He nodded in agreement, “Is all that true?” Bucky paused for a moment, thinking about his next words. “Everything you have noted and what is in that vial. Helix isn’t fucking around.” 

 

“I wish it wasn’t,” you said. “Helix, being the major pharmaceutical company that they are, know what they are doing. On the outside, that is what they would have you think. But the inside operation is straight out of horror movie.” You stood and picked up the pistol and cereal bowl, “I am living proof of that.” 

 

Walking to the sink, you rinsed out the bowl. Bucky had remained where he was, but you could feel him staring at you. 

 

When he remained silent, you slammed your palm on the countertop, “What?!” you shouted.

 

He calmly got up from his chair. He threw away the wrapper and moved to stand next to you. The moonlight shining in through the window cast shadows across his face. He didn’t try to touch you, or invade your space. Just stood there and studied your face. 

 

Memories you wanted to forget played like a movie reel in your head. 

 

_ Bucky, or at the time, the Winter Soldier following you when you had left the corner store and headed back to your current hideout. You had ran around a corner and pulled your gun out of it’s holster as he rounded the corner. You accessed your situation quickly. He wasn’t carrying a weapon, just walking toward you with purpose. You knew he was sent to kill you. _

 

Dragging a lifeless Bucky back to your cheap apartment to wait on him to wake up and get some answers. He had seen the pistol, but didn’t see the brick you had in your other hand. Night night. 

 

_ Him waking up and not realizing what he was even doing. _

 

Finding out that both of you were just pawns in a much bigger game. 

 

_ Spending days formulating a plan.  _

 

The first time he kissed you.

 

_ The mind blowing, amazing sex. _

 

You making the decision not to involve Bucky in your mess.

 

_ Shooting him. _

 

Crying as you left him behind.

 

It was all a flash, a blur. Looking at him now, you wished things could have ended differently for the two of you. But fate was a fickle bitch.

 

Backing away, you shook your head, “Once this is done, I will be gone again Bucky.” You turned and started walking back to the room that Tony had set up for you. 

 

“You’re safe here,” Bucky said, still standing in the spot you left him.

 

You wished that were true.


	2. Two

“Are you just not going to talk to me the whole time?”

 

You huffed and kept looking out the window. 

 

This plan sucked.

 

You watched the city whiz past as the limo you were riding in made quick work of the New York streets. You had been sitting in a stony silence since the morning meeting. How dare these… people… these Avengers… make a plan without you.

 

You were the one that had carefully thought through everything. Years of intel. Years of hiding. And for what?

 

For you to be paired up with Bucky… that was what.

 

This plan sucked. 

 

“Ok,” Bucky sighed. “It wasn’t my idea either, but if this is going to work, you need to snap out of it.”

 

You slowly turned your head to look at him. If looks could kill…

 

A pair of sunglasses was shoved at you from Natasha, “Here, these will complete the look.” 

 

You put them on and then reached up to itch at the horrendous black haired wig that was on your head. 

 

“See?” Nat said to Bucky, “I wouldn’t even know it was her.”

 

You turned to look out the window again. They didn’t know Helix like you did. This was a huge risk but you had been out voted this morning. 

 

When the car stopped at a stoplight, Sam looked in the rearview mirror and nodded his approval, “Totally different person.” Then his eyes shifted to Bucky, who was sitting next to you in the backseat, “Him on the other hand, still ugly.”

 

It was said with mirth, making Bucky say something under his breath as Sam got the limo moving again. 

 

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Bucky reach forward and press a button on the side panel of the door. The partition started to rise, blocking Sam and Nat from view. “We need a minute to discuss things.”

 

When you remained silent and unmoving, Bucky heaved a sigh. “What are you more mad at?” He rubbed his thigh absentmindedly, “The fact that you have to do this with me or that they made this plan without you?” 

 

“It’s a toss up,” you whispered. Turning your head again, you tipped your sunglasses down and gave him a angry stare, “This is stupid.”

 

He smiled, unaffected by your anger. That smile had never failed to make your belly flop. It transformed his face. Every time. Even now, all gussied up as he was, you couldn’t deny how handsome he was. The dark blue suit and crisp white shirt fit him like it had been painted on. The collar of the shirt was open, a couple of buttons undone. The suit jacket was open now as he sat but it had been closed with just one button when you saw him walking to the limo earlier. His hair was slicked back off of his face, the long locks brushing his shoulders. The white and blue combination of his attire brought out the beautiful color of his eyes as they stared back at you. He had black leather gloves on both of hands. The metal arm would have been a dead giveaway. The gloves seemed to add a bit of mystery to him. 

 

He looked every bit the powerful businessman he was going to portray. 

 

Looking down at your own attire, you felt dowdy. The black pencil skirt stopped at your knees and your black pumps were sensible. More utilitarian than sexy. Your white dress shirt was tucked into the skirt, hinting at your curves but it was a tad wrinkled. The wig is what really sealed the deal though. Nat had done her best. But you looked like an 80’s music video vixen. 

 

“Nobody is going to believe we are married,” you muttered.

 

Bucky looked at you thoughtfully. He scoot across the seat until he was next to you. You watched in shock as he reached for the front of your shirt and popped two buttons open.

 

Slapping his hands away, you sputtered, “What in god’s name do you think you are-”

 

You were rendered speechless when a hand snaked inside the shirt and yanked up your camisole until the lacy edges were showing in the open wedge of your shirt. A healthy amount of cleavage was now also on display. He gave a satisfied nod of his head before his hands moved to your hair and started smoothing the strands. 

 

Stunned, you let him work. He sat back and surveyed his work. “Now, they will,” he said before moving back to his side of the seat. “You look perfect.”

 

Whether he was complimenting you or his handiwork, you didn’t know. You still were recovering from having his hands on you. Your body had started to hum from the contact. 

 

Your heart still hadn’t slowed as Sam pulled the limo to a stop in front of the Helix complex. Your door was opened by Sam, who sent you a wink as he held his hand out to assist you, “Showtime.”

 

Bucky had joined you by now and sent Nat and Sam a nod as they got back in the limo and drove off. He placed his hand on the small of your back and proceeded to propel you forward. He leaned close before you reached the doors, “Come on doll face,” he whispered. “We are supposed to be a doting husband and wife here to seek help for my erectile dysfunction.” 

 

You glanced at him. He had a small smile playing on his lips. You and him both knew he didn’t have any problems in that department.

 

He opened the door, holding it until you stepped inside.

 

A little shiver of fear slithered down your spine as you entered the large lobby. This is the place where your life had been turned upside down. 

 

A comforting hand rubbed a small circle in the center of your back, “You ok?” Bucky asked.

 

Giving him a curt nod, the both of you walked to the reception desk that was situated in the middle. 

 

The receptionist looked up at you with a cheery smile, “Name?” 

 

Bucky spoke before you could, “Mr. and Mrs. Buchanan, here to see Dr. Seevers.” You both watched as she click clacked on the computer before nodding.

 

“Yes, he will be available shortly,” she motioned to the seating area. “Please have a seat and a nurse will be out to get you.”

 

Moving on autopilot, you sat in the nearest chair to the door. You blew out a breath. You were starting to perspire underneath the wig and your arms. Removing the sunglasses, you hooked them on top of your head before grabbing a pamphlet off the nearby table and waved it in front of your face. The cool air felt good on your face. 

 

You jumped when Bucky’s hand landed on your thigh, “Hey, you can do this.” 

 

You tried sending him a reassuring smile but you knew it looked pitiful. “I never thought I would ever be back here.” 

 

“Well, for what’s it worth, I think you are very brave.” You shared a meaningful look before it was broken by a nurse calling out your fake names.

 

Bucky stood first and reached out for you. He played the part of husband well as he grabbed your hand and smiled at the nurse. She escorted you to an office at the end of the hall and departed with a curt, “The doctor will be in shortly.”

 

Sitting in front of a large oak desk, the both of you scanned the office and took in your surroundings. Nothing out of the ordinary that you could see. 

 

You were about to pick up a picture frame that was situated on the corner and turn it around but the door opening behind you stopped you.

 

“Mr. and Mrs. Buchanan,” the voice began. “I am sorry to keep you waiting.”

 

Your whole body went cold. 

 

The little hairs on the back of your neck rose and your heart rate quickened.

 

That voice…

 

Bucky must have been alerted to the change in you because he stared at you a moment before he stood to shake the doctor’s hand. 

 

Composing yourself was proving to be difficult as you waited for Dr. Seevers to come into view.

 

When he finally did, your vision swam. 

 

Bile rose in your throat and nausea roiled in your gut. Your hand shot out and grasped Bucky’s forearm. 

 

That face and voice haunted your nightmares. 

 

You were aware that Bucky was speaking to you, but your brain couldn’t register the words. Your heartbeat was pounding in your ears. You could hear the blood rushing in your veins. Sweat popped out on your brow and your hands felt numb. 

 

A glass of water was thrust in front of your face. You focused on Bucky talking calmly to you as you reached for the glass and took a sip of the cool water. 

 

“... maybe we should reschedule,” Bucky was saying. “My wife seems to not be feeling well. I think I am going to take her home.”

 

Dr. Seevers propped his hip against the desk and reached for the water glass in your hand. You flinched when his fingers touched yours, “Yes, that sounds like a good idea.”

 

Bucky cupped your elbow in his hand and helped you to your feet. You felt like you were having an out of body experience. You were moving and you could see all the things happening, but you couldn’t feel them.

 

The door was held open for you as you walked down the hallway you had just been in. Stopping at the reception desk, Bucky put his arm around your waist and hugged your close. He told the receptionist he would just call to make another appointment and then turned the both of you to the front doors. 

 

You saw the limo come around and park at the curb before Sam bolted out of the drivers side.

 

“What the hell happened in there?” he asked in a hushed tone as he rushed to open the back door.

 

Bucky said something that you couldn’t hear as you were ushered into the backseat. All the doors were closed and the limo was in motion.

 

A strong arm wrapped around you again, giving you a little shake. A hand cupped your cheek and turned your face. Bucky was gazing down at you with concern. His lips were moving, but you couldn’t hear the sound. 

 

You blinked several times, bringing him completely into focus. Swallowing roughly, you felt tears sting your eyes.

 

“Sugar, I need you to talk to me,” Bucky said softly.

 

A lump formed in your throat making it difficult to breathe. Your voice didn’t sound like your own as you answered him. “Dr. Seevers must be an alias,” you croaked. “I only ever knew him as Mr. Linn, the founder of Helix.”

 

Bucky’s surprised face is the last thing you saw before you passed out.

 

* * *

 

 

Mr. Linn watched out of his office window as the limo pulled away from the curb. The little hairs on the back of his neck were raised. A trigger of unease had settled in his spine. 

 

Stepping back over to his desk, he opened the folder he had on the Buchanan’s. Nothing seemed out of place on their intake form. But he just knew something was there. 

 

He pressed the button on the phone and waited for his receptionist to answer.

 

“Yes, Dr. Seevers?”

 

“Please send me all the information you have on the couple that just left,” he paused for effect. “Mr. and Mrs. Buchanan.” 

 

“Oh, that poor woman,” she gasped. “She looked terrible. I do hope she is alright.”

 

“Indeed,” he replied before clicking off.

 

Sitting behind his desk, he pulled out his cell phone and sent a quick text before leaning back in his chair.

 

Something about the woman was gnawing at him. Her reaction to him was strange.

 

His thoughts were interrupted as his next clients arrived.

 

Pasting on his professional smile, he stood to greet them.

 

* * *

 

 

Your eyes popped open in a panic. You kicked off the blanket and swiveled your head to see what had woke you.

 

“I’m sorry,” Bucky said softly as he sat down a mug on the bedside table. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I just thought you would like some tea when you woke up.” 

 

You took a moment to get your breathing under control before clearing your throat, “Thank you.” 

 

Bucky sat on the side of the bed, “How are you feeling?”

 

Sitting up, you reached over for the mug. Blowing on the surface, you took a long inhale. You smiled inside, he remembered your favorite flavor. Taking a sip, you peaked at him over the top. 

 

You were hit with  déjà vu . 

 

This very scene had played out before, but the first time the two of you had been naked. The sheet had slipped down your torso as you had sipped the hot drink and Bucky had affectionately reached out and cupped your breast in his palm.

 

Heat rose on your skin as you remembered how his thumb had swept across your hardened nipple.

 

“I, um…” you cleared your throat again, your mouth suddenly dry. “I am feeling ok.” Looking down at the mug in your hands, you read what was on the side. You smiled and turned it toward Bucky, “Starkbucks... cute.”

 

 

Bucky laughed with a shrug, “Tony has a weird sense of humor, you get used to it.” 

 

You both fell silent. A lot of unanswered questions hung in the air. Some of those questions you knew you weren’t ready to answer yet. And some of them he was probably afraid to ask. 

 

Bucky shifted and pulled out some rolled up papers from his back pocket. He smoothed them out before handing them to you. “We did some more digging into the Helix company while you were sleeping.” Bucky pointed at a name at the top of the paper, “Does that name ring any bells for you? We couldn’t find any matches and we aren’t sure why they are affiliated with Helix at all. Maybe Mr. Linn, aka Dr. Seevers?”

 

Lucius Turnbloom. You knew the name well.

 

“He was my boss with the party planning company I used to work for.” You scanned the page, seeing his name pop up in various places. “He was a nice man. I don’t know how he would have any connection to this though.”

 

Bucky made a sound, making you look up at him. “I think it is damn coincidental that this Turnbloom was your boss before you were taken by Helix.” 

 

You hadn’t thought of that. But you didn’t want to believe it. “No, Lucius was always good to me.” You handed the papers back to Bucky, “He set me up with everything I ever needed.” 

 

Bucky didn’t look convinced, “Not everything is always so black and white, sugar.” He tapped the papers on your leg before he stood up, “You know that.” 

 

You watched him exit the room that was on loan to you. 

 

Damn… you hated when he was right.

 

* * *

 

 

The delicious smell of food cooking is what finally brought you out from hiding. Walking down the dark hallway, you listened to the laughter and the boisterous chatter that was coming from the kitchen. 

 

It made you smile. You were glad that Bucky was able to find Steve again. To be out from Hydra’s control. You knew the toll it took on the mind. 

 

Nobody had heard you approach yet so you took that chance to take in the scene.

 

Wanda and Bucky were working side by side in front of the stove. Bucky was adding vegetables to a sizzling skillet as Wanda was stirring. She looked over at him and said something, but you couldn’t hear from where you were standing. 

 

Tony and Steve were sitting on the barstools in front of the island. They were listening to Thor who was standing on the other side, mixing something in a large pitcher. The color of the liquid inside looked like watered down mud. You made a mental note to turn down his offer for a drink. 

 

Natasha, Pepper and Bruce were seated at the table and were talking to a man you hadn’t met yet.

 

You sensed movement behind you and turned just in time to see Sam walking toward you. He gestured to the kitchen with a smile, “You better get in there and get a good seat.” As he walked past you, he turned and walked backwards, “If you don’t, Thor will eat it all.” 

 

That made you chuckle. You knew he said it in jest, but looking at the size of Thor, you guessed that it held a bit of truth. 

 

A clattering of plates made you look back at the table. Steve was setting the table, putting a white plate in front of each chair. Natasha was following close behind with napkins and utensils. 

 

They looked like they have done this many times before. These people were a unit. A family. 

 

You watched as Bucky put on oven mitts and carry the hot cast iron skillet to the table. Wanda and Tony brought over what looked to be a giant salad bowl and a few other bowls that looked like different kinds of toppings. 

 

Thor was trying to convince everyone to try his drink as he carried over the pitcher and an armful of glasses. 

 

Tony stopped to pull out Pepper’s chair for her. She blew him a kiss as she sat.

 

Your heart constricted in your chest. You didn’t belong here. And now you felt bad for bringing your mess to them. 

 

A hand shot out and clasped your arm just as you turned to head back to your room. Looking up, you saw Bucky. He had a small smile on his face, “Come on, sugar,” he said. “We know you have to be hungry.”

 

You hesitated. Bucky tugged on your arm, “It’s ok.” 

 

He released your arm and you walked behind him to the table. He pulled out a chair next to him and you felt tears well behind your eyes when you realized that Steve and Natasha had also set a place for you. 

 

You felt like a complete ass. 

 

A hand covered yours where you were white knuckling the back of the chair. You looked over to see Wanda, she was smiling at you. “We have all felt the same thing you are feeling right now.” She patted your hand before motioning to the spread on the table, “I hope you like fajitas.”

 

You sat down between her and Bucky and returned her smile, “I happen to love fajitas.”

 

Thor lifted the large pitcher with a wide grin on his face, “Drink?”

 

* * *

 

 

Tucking the notebook under your arm, you knocked on Bucky’s bedroom door. 

 

It was really late and he was most likely sleeping but it was time to tell Bucky the secret you had kept from everyone else. 

 

After dinner, you had helped clean up the kitchen and listened to the many stories that everyone had. You were pretty sure that most of them were exaggerated in some way but you held on to every word. You learned of Bucky’s time in Wakanda. Thor talked about his brother Loki, who even you were convinced wasn’t dead. Tony and Pepper had talked about the upcoming wedding. Steve, Nat and Sam were supposed to be on another mission at the moment but had stayed behind when they were informed of Helix. 

 

The group had started to disperse for the night with Steve, Wanda and Bucky inviting you to the theater to watch a movie with them. You had declined and waved them goodnight. 

 

Once in your room, you sat on the bed and started going over your notes again. Grabbing the one notebook that you had kept hidden in a secret pocket of your backpack, you flipped to the back and felt your heart constrict in your chest. Your life before Helix seemed so far away… 

 

At the time it had been a dream come true. Lucius had hired you after just one interview with his company, Extravaganza. You were giddy. It was one of the most sought after party planning services in New York City. Lucius had trained you himself. Not too long after, you were his right hand woman. He had set you up with an incredible townhouse and paid you more than was necessary. He would tell you to hush every time you brought it up. 

 

He had become the father figure you never had. He brought you dinner on late nights and made sure everything was always running in tip top shape on your car. He bragged about you to all his clients and would even call you his work daughter. 

 

He and his wife, Marion were the family you had prayed for as a little girl. 

 

“Why are you crying, sugar?”

 

You hadn’t realized that Bucky opened the door while you were lost in thought… or that you were even crying.

 

Holding up the notebook with one hand, you wiped at your wet cheeks with the other, “I have something to show you.”

 

He moved to let you in and then shut the door behind you after you walked past him. You stood in the middle of the room and looked around. 

 

Books. There were books everywhere. They were stacked in front of the full bookcase and some were on top of the dresser. He had two on his bedside table, one was open and turned over which you guessed he was currently reading.

 

You walked over and studied the titles. A lot of science and modern technology. Even some ancient studies in there. 

 

Bucky had moved up behind you. You turned to look at him before pointing at a book on the far left of the top shelf. 

 

“You kept it,” you whispered.

 

He nodded slowly and a small smile appeared, “It is the best thing that anyone has ever stole for me.”

 

You made a face at him in mock surprise, “I borrowed it!” You started laughing, “I would have loved to have seen that cart owners face when he saw my ‘I owe you’.” Looking back at the bookshelf, you felt your smile waver, “I went back and paid him later. I felt terrible.” 

 

Taking a long exhale, you turned and pointed at the bed, “Can we sit and talk?” He followed you over and sat beside you. You looked down at where your knees were almost touching and felt the dread of what you were about to tell him set in.

 

You opened the notebook to the first page, “I kept this notebook out of my notes because there are some things in here that are very personal.” Handing the book to him, you watched him scan the page before looking back up at you. You took that as he wanted you to continue. “A couple of months after leaving you, I showed up at Lucius’ front door. After the initial shock of seeing me alive, he and his wife Marion, instantly started to spill dirty secrets.”

 

Reaching over, you leaned close and flipped through a few pages of the notebook he was still holding. Pointing at the middle of a page, you continued on, “Lucius had gotten himself tangled up in Mr. Linn’s web of deception.” Bucky shifted, making you realize how close the two of you were now sitting. Clearing your throat roughly, you studied his profile as he read what was wrote. 

 

“Mr. Linn had loaned Lucius all the money he needed to start up his business,” you said. “All of Lucius and Marion’s dreams had instantly come true. Well, as you know, there is always a higher price to be paid back. Lucius could never get ahead of his loan. Mr. Linn is a dangerous man when it comes to things he wants.” 

 

Bucky looked up and you were momentarily startled as his eyes met yours. The clear blue was one of his best features. You fell right into them. The concern in their depths made a bone deep sadness settle in. 

 

The ending to this story was going to hurt him.

 

“Mr. Linn took an interest in me after I was hired for Extravaganza,” you went on. “Somehow he had gotten ahold of my college transcripts and my background. At first, he didn’t tell Lucius why but after Lucius had accidently walked in on a conversation that Mr. Linn was having on the phone, he found out. Mr. Linn was moving his research to human trials after success with animals. Thus, the Helix program was born.”

 

“Lucius gave you up that easily?” Bucky asked softly.      

 

You shook your head, “No, Lucius wouldn’t have done that.” Sighing, you shifted to face him more, “Mr. Linn of course had told Lucius that his debt would be paid after handing me over but Lucius fought him. I was taken from the senator’s party that night without his knowledge. He didn’t even have time to warn me.”

 

Bucky scanned a few more pages before he exhaled long and loud, “What happened after you found out the truth?”

 

You shrugged, “I felt betrayed at first, which I think is a knee jerk reaction.” Taking the notebook out of his hands, you held it close to your body, “But, I had something I needed them to help me with.” 

 

Taking out the loose piece of paper out of the back, you looked at the picture that was pinned to it before turning it toward Bucky with a lump of emotion in your throat.

 

“Meet Jacoby,” you whispered. “Our son.” 


End file.
